There is a life principal that says; "We keep what we have by giving it away". Telling my story helps me keep my recovery, by giving it away in a message of hope to others.
My name is Don and I am an Acadian Mi'kmaq. PTSD has been a part of my life since the age of three. I was 11 years old and our home had never been a safe place for me, so my mom sought help from the church. Unfortunately, she would regret that decision until her death. I don't even need to tell you why she regretted that decision, because you already know. Your head is already going there, because you've heard it so many times before. My father's physical violence was a walk in the park compared to what this monster had planned for me.
I ran away from home at the age of 14 and I have been on my own since. I was not just trying to escape the prison that I was living in - I was trying to escape the prison that was living in me. Living seemed just as terrifying as dying back then. There was no escape and before getting sober in 1990, my illness would take me to numerous jails, rehabilitation centres, mental institutions and even one straight jacket.
Being sober was certainly a great help, but my difficulties were far from over. I started attending church and became an active member of the community. Not long after I was betrayed again. Another betrayal, but this time I was down for the full count. I couldn't run my business anymore, I stopped writing music, I stopped singing. My song was now dead and I felt like I was truly dead inside.
Flashbacks haunted me everyday. This time I had made a promise to my wife that I would get help. So, I sought help through Niagara Regional Mental Health and they suggested "Hope Recovered" a group that helps you learn about PTSD and how to deal with symptoms and triggers.
Following that I spent more than a year with a therapist who specialized in PTSD recovery. Between my Hope Recovered group and my therapist we worked through what seemed like most of my life. We spent more than a year, every week for 90 minutes, working hard to process the trauma in a proper, and respectful way. With each session I became more of the man I was intended to be. I even went back to work, started writing music again and now I'm working on my first album.
Now I have a full stock of tools to help me in my continued recovery. Today, I well up with tears of joy, because I'm beginning to feel something that I have never felt in my whole life. Like an internal assurance, It's feel like a confidence in who I am.
Thank you Niagara Regional Mental Health and staff for my hope recovered.