There are many ideas and opinions on how to be a “good parent”. Parents often receive advice and guidance on how to parent from their own parents, experts or friends. So how do we know what is right when not all sources agree? Learning what parenting styles are most effective can help lead to positive outcomes for children.
Quiz: Determine your Parenting Style
Three Parenting Types
Strict parents are highly controlling and not responsive to a child’s feelings. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order. They expect their orders to be obeyed and do not encourage choices or options. They have low levels of sensitivity and expect their children to agree with their decision.
Results: Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and look to others to decide what’s right. These children rarely take initiatives, lack spontaneity and lack curiosity.
Permissive parents are accepting and warm but give up most control to their children. They do not set limits, and allow children to set their own rules, schedules and activities. They do not want to be tied down to routines. They tend to accept the behaviour of the child, good or bad, whether it is beneficial or not.
Results: Children with permissive parents generally are immature. They cannot control their impulses and do not accept the responsibility for their own actions. The child simply blames someone else if they get in trouble.
Balanced parents give their children lots of practice in making choices and guide them to see the consequences of those choices. They explain why rules are important and why they must be followed. They consider their children’s point of view even though they might not always agree. Misbehaviour is handled in an appropriate manner. They are firm, with kindness, warmth and love. They encourage their children to be independent and often catch them being good rather than focusing on the bad.
Results: Children with authoritative parents generally have higher self esteem, are independent and healthy. They learn to accept responsibility, make wiser choices, cope with change, and are better equipped to succeed in a work-force.
Why Balanced Parenting Works
Balanced parenting works because it does three things:
- First, your warmth, love and involvement make your child or teen more open to your influence
- Second, by providing structure through limits and consequences, you help your child or teen develop the ability to control his behaviour and make good decisions
- Third, the open, two-way communication in your relationship
helps your child or teen develop the thinking and social skills
needed to succeed outside the family
Studies show that children and teens raised by balanced parents:
- Do better in school
- Report less depression and anxiety
- Have higher self-esteem
- Less likely to engage in risky problem behaviours, including drug and alcohol use or sex or violence
It is important to believe you can be a great parent.
